Six drinks for an English teachers New Year's Eve Party
Mixed conditional Martini, anyone?
I’m bringing this one out from the vaults, just because I imagine there are plenty of parties about right now and this was one of my earliest lists, before many people knew about this site. And, well, yes because I haven’t had time to do a new list recently to tell the truth! I am working on a year-end bonanza, so this will have to do until that’s ready!
Below is my list of six special drinks I would serve if I were hosting a New Year’s Eve party of only English teachers (which I’m not, thankfully!).
1. The Mixed Conditional Martini. A hefty dose of vodka in this one, leading to the following sentence which gives it its name: “If I hadn’t had that extra martini last night I’d be fine now”.
2. The Champagne Collocation. Basically this is like a big punch bowl filled with champagne and a mix of other alcoholic drinks it’s best not to ask about.
3. The Bacardi Washback. Washback (or backwash) is a term in testing about how a test affects the teaching that precedes it. There can be positive and negative washback. This drink has positive washback, trust me.
4. Learner-centred lager. This is the cheap beer I’d have on hand to serve to any students who managed to sneak in to the party.
5. RP Riesling. RP stands for Received Pronunciation, the accent of the Queen of England. RP Reisling is a fine chilled bottle of aromatic white wine from Germany that will have you speaking English with a flawless German-Posh-English accent.
6. Speech Act Slammers. A speech act is “doing something with words” (Thornbury, An A-Z of ELT). A speech act slammer is “doing something with tequila”, usually drinking it. To finish the evening.
Right, does anyone else have something they would add to this party?
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Yeah, you forgot the staggering students’ old standby, Lindsay, the VCL – a lethal amalgamation of vodka, cointreau and lemonade. I’d make sure there were plenty prepared in advance for those who come looking for ‘something a lttle bit special’. Or who won’t go home when you want them to.
I’ve never had the pleasure of the VCL, sounds special. Thanks for the suggestion, especially the latter part; although I’d have to make sure they had enough cab money to get home on their own when I pile them out the door.
I can recommend my own credit crunch cocktail, the Fantasy. This is vodka mixed with Fanta.
There should be a rum, cream and coconut based Whiteboard Eraser – erases all memory…
Nice, I like the Whiteboard Eraser motif. Could there be a blackboard version too?
Well, I’ve been giving this some thought and I think the blackboard version would have to involve Guinness. Guinness and vodka, anyone? Don’t try this at home…
Ah, yes …time to p–p–p–party,is it? Well, how about dusting off that old standby, the Cloze Cocktail. To contextualize (something that we EFL–ers always feel strangely impelled to do when under the influence ….I mean of our Great Teachers, of course) this retro–but–evergreen beverage peaked in popularity with avant–garde Teflistas sometime last century. Do not be lulled by its bland appearance. This stuff can befuddle you more than The Matrix. Just one sip and you will be at a loss for words, I promise you. You see, Cloze Cocktails momentarily erase vital details from the tip of your tongue (Hi, nice to meet you! My name is ….uhm, sorry, my mind has gone a ….what is the word i am looking for?) but, never fear, other party guests will always be willing to fill in the blanks based on their understanding of context.(You must be that hopeless old geezer my DoS warned me about!) After downing a couple of these, stagger homewards, or preferably take the Tube and make sure you mind the gap.
Merry Xmas!
Carole
Oh, now I see – each Teacher is meant to drink only six drinks, is that it? Or do you mean we/they have to drink one of each of your concoctions, Lindsay? In that case, I’ll pass – or pass out. I can’t knock back the liquor like I used to, you know. Three of us Teflers once got through a litre of brandy at one sitting, several years back. But we weren’t sitting by the end … more like crawling, actually.
Thanks Carole… I think I may have had a cloze cocktail in the past, the kind that left big gaps in my memory about the whole evening.
The ‘ARC’, a special name for a pint o’heavy , drunk with a wee dram of whisky. Often imbibed in large quantities, they have the advantage that you can drink them in any order you like-you’ll still wake up with a hell of a hangover.
Merry Christmas!
Sue
Ah yes, the ARC! A favourite of my pre-service trainees, I think, both in their lesson plans and and their apres-lesson celebrations. Thanks Sue!
Sandy! You disappoint me. No, just kidding. Each teacher can choose whichever drink they like from my generous bar on offer. Actually, I almost hope that someone DOES have some of these at a staff Christmas party and lets me know.
Great post, but sorry, it’s “Riesling” (No. 5)… (pronounced “Rees-ling”; “ee” said like both syllables in “received”)…
An ex-pat in Germany
Ooops! This is what happens when my editor is not around.
Thank you for the correction!